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Glitter Bomb!

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glitter

Yes, I have seen the Ship Your Enemies Glitter website.

I know what many of you are thinking: Ha! See? Shipping glitter (and, presumably, confetti) is horrible and requires breaking out the vacuum and all the glintiness could blind a person!

Eh, whatever.

I send confetti. I do it because I love you.

I refer you to my confetti philosophy.

Sometimes I try to send larger no-vacuum-required confetti. Sometimes I try to contain the confetti/glitter/sequins in an inner envelope. Sometimes I try to send just a few pieces so that they don’t scatter far and wide. But there’s no guarantee. If I am feeling particularly joyful, you might get a whole glittery handful.

If you are a person of the hip-hip-hooray variety, you don’t mind a bit of sparkle hidden between your phone bill and that Bed Bath Beyond postcard.

If you are not a person of the hip-hip-hooray variety, throw any damn thing from me into the trash unopened. Admit it, you are probably just going to throw away the card, anyway, ya old Ebinizer Scrooge, so why even chance a paper cut by opening the envelope.


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